Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Onward, Christian Pharmacists!

Sung to the tune, of course, of Onward, Christian Soldiers

Onward, Christian Pharmacists, wrapped in piety,
Foisting their morality onto you and me.
Who needs modern chemistry, when they had a vision?
Everyone using birth control should land themselves in prison.


Onward, Christian Pharmacists, wrapped in piety,
Foisting their morality onto you and me.


Keep the torches burning, let not sunlight in,
Let the white hot torches burn out all sin.
Stand behind their counters, dressed in pious white,
Anyone who wants the Pill, they will surely smite.


Onward, Christian Pharmacists, wrapped in piety,
Foisting their morality onto you and me.


They believe the Ancients, not Academie,
Their belief is not in science but rather alchemy.
Rapists should be daddies too, to
hell with womens’ needs!
Too bad if we harm a few, got to save those seeds!


Onward, Christian Pharmacists, wrapped in piety,
Foisting their morality onto you and me.


One the kid is born, they no longer care,
Just be sure the little tyke's not society’s to bear!
Now the druggist’s job is done, and his conscience clear,
Rest in peace apothecary, angels hover near.


Onward, Christian Pharmacists, wrapped in piety,
Foisting their morality onto you and me.



Dedicated to Tom Emmer and the Minnesota House Health Policy and Finance Committee

No comments: