Monday, September 19, 2005

Randy's epitaph . . .

When the Newspaper of the Twin Cities landed on Spotty’s doorstep this morning with a leaden thunk, he knew what it meant: it’s Monday and the paper carrier was laboring under the extra load of a column from Katie. Instead of the usual lead, though, Spot found out that the paper held a small marble headstone inscribed Leading means thinking for yourself, together with a column that Katie, or some blogger in the right wing, will be able to massage gently into Randy Kelly’s political obituary.

Readers will recall that Randy Kelly, DFL mayor of St. Paul, endorsed George Bush for president last fall. Randy now finds that while the horse he bet on for the election won by a nose (yes, by a nose Katie; it wasn’t a mandate), that horse is now headed straight for the glue factory. Such a pity.

Katie says that the common wisdom is that Randy Kelly’s poor showing in the mayoral primary last Tuesday was due to that endorsement. Probably. Hopefully. It’s just part of that personal responsibility you keep harping about Katie. When you burn your butt, you have to sit on the blisters!

But Katie says that the mayor should be exempt from the rule. Why? Because the DFL should tolerate more diversity. Hysterical laughter. Sorry. Not since Katie delivered an apologia for Michele Bachmann has Katie written anything so wildly funny.

Of course, Katie brings out the straight shootin’ (and apparently tolerant) Ronald Reagan as a totem to which the mayor should be compared. Isn’t this the same guy who led a bunch of extra-chromosome conservatives (to use George I’s terminology) to challenge a sitting president of his own party – Gerald Ford – for the nomination in 1976? You’re old enough to remember that Katie.

And isn’t it our own Republican governor Arne Carlson who couldn’t get his party’s endorsement for re-election as governor, after Carlson had stepped in and rescued the party from titanic scandal in the Grunseth pool-party affair? Why yes, it was.

There is a Bible verse that Spot is thinking about here, and there’s a box of kibble for the reader who comes up with it.

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