Monday, September 18, 2006

Grace happens

This is a day that the Lord hath made. Katherine Kersten speaking.

Well how’s my favorite Lois Lane of the Cornfields?

Excuse me?

I’m sorry. No offense intended. This is Ron Cary.

None taken, I guess. How may I serve the Republican cause today, Ron?

Nothing special today Katie. I’ve just been making some calls to thank party functionaries who have been putting in an extra effort to smear Keith Ellison and try to tie him to state-wide DFL candidates. It’s probably not gonna do much good, but I appreciate the effort. I talked to Alan what’s-his-name yesterday. And I wanted to really thank you for your column today. I especially love the way you ended it:

The question of the hour is this: Is Ellison's DFL also the party of Amy Klobuchar and Mike Hatch? We have six weeks to find out.

Why thank you, Ron. Mr. Tice said it was ponderous and a transparent smear, but I argued to keep it in.

Thatta girl!

I can be very persuasive when I want to be! Wait a minute. That didn’t come out right! I’m a good arguer.

I’m sure you are, Katie.

You know Ron, I have been thinking about how redemption is possible for morally-upright Republicans but not for Democrats.

How do you mean, Katie?

For example, we get to beat up Keith Ellison for things in his past, even silly ones like parking tickets, but Norm Coleman’s student radical days are off limits. Did you know he was even suspended from Hofstra for leading a sit-in? I don’t think anything like that happened to Ellison. And let’s not even get started on President Bush’s alcoholism and his sorry National Guard service record. Grace just seems to happen for the right people. It’s so inspiring; I think I’ll write a column about it!

Uh, Katie, why don’t you hold off on that one, ok?

Well, all right, but it’s a great story!

I tell you what, Katie. Just keep running your ideas by me before you write anything, OK? Say, why don’t you write something about school vouchers or gay marriage? Those topics seem to come pretty easily to you.

That’s a good idea, Ron! It was nice of you to call.

Bye Katie.

Bye Ron.

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