Katie's column today Classical charter schools make learning come alive for students, about which Spot will write more in a moment, contained Katie's lament that "classical" elementary schools weren't available for her brood. So let's roll the calendar back and imagine:
Oh, Cornelia! Come here please!
Coming Mom, and you know my name is Mary Ellen.
I know, but wouldn't it have been so much more romantic to be named Cornelia?
This is about transferring to the Seven Sisters elementary school again, isn't it?
That's Seven Hills, dear; a reference to the hills surrounding Rome. And wouldn't it be such fun to study Latin every day and maybe make ancient pots? Just imagine!
Yeah, I can see it all now, Mom. No thanks.
You'll love it after a few day; I promise.
Did you sign me up? I told you I didn't want to go there. You're ruining my life!
Lookit me! This is a chance your older siblings, Titus Flavius and Socratea, never had.
You mean David and Lisa? Geez, Mom, when you get something in your head, you just don't let go.
Think how much is will mean to your mother.
Then think about how good it will look on a resume, I mean curriculum vita.
Mom, I'm eleven years old.
Well, no matter. You'll thank me someday. Besides, Latin is our mother tongue, the language of our Church, and it's what Jesus spoke!
Mom, you're German. Our people sacked Rome. We're the barbarians, remember? And Jesus spoke Aramaic, not Latin.
Oh, you're so precious! I could just squeeze you to death! How did you know that?
It was that Mel Gibson slasher flick you took us all to a couple of years ago. [never mind the anachronism, says Spot] I'm not going.
Oh yes you are.
No I'm not.
Yes you are. You like living here, don't you?
Oh, Mom. You always play the trump card.
Boys and girls, there are apparently other people in town like Katie.
Way, grasshopper. According to Katie, there are now five "classical" elementary charter schools in the Twin Cities for Titus Flavius, Socratea, and Cornelia.
Why would anyone send their kids there, Spotty?
Apparently, it is difficult to find a good penal colony in the neighborhood that will take children that young. Either that, or a lot of parents are under the influence of all the beard and bedsheet classics they saw down at the Bijou when they were kids themselves. At all events, it seems odd to Spot that Katie could express so much interest in the humanities without having any humanity for anyone different than she is.