Monday, December 03, 2007

Whoa Gerard, wassuuuup?

Aren't you a little curious how Mr. and Mrs. Dominator came to the attention of the County Attorney? Spot sure is. Several scenarios present themselves.


Hello, is the the Blomington police?

Yes, it is.

I'd like to report child abuse.

Really? Who?


Aw, come on son. Every kid gets the old man's wrath once in a while.

But this is different. I'm pretty sure.


Dad hit me.

Well, son, a lot of kids get a cuff on the butt once in a while. Parents have self-control problems sometimes, too.

I know that! But he went over the line.

How old are you, son?

Twelve. Dad hit me thirty-six times tonight.

Jesus Christ! Did you count?

Dad did. I got three separate whuppings, twelve whacks each because that's how old I am. Mister, he'll kill me before I get to eighteen.

What did he hit you with, his hand, and where?

It was a maple paddle that he ordered online some time ago. He hit me on the back of my legs while quoting Scripture to me. I don't remember the verses.

I suppose not. Hang on a minute, son. Sarge? Come over here; we have a situation.


Wassuuuup, Gerard? You look a little peaked, my man.

I'm fine.

You don't look so fine. Hey, have you been crying?


Yes you have! What's wrong? It's okay; you can tell me.

Remember when I told you that Dad bought a paddle online and threatened to hit me with it? Well, it came and he hit me thirty six times.

Come on; we're gonna tell the school counselor. Nobody outta hafta put up with that shit.

Three [Spot's favorite]

Hello. Hennepin County Social Services.

Uh, hello. I'm a county resident, and I have a discipline problem with my son.

Welcome to the club. What's your name?

I'd rather not say. But my son sneaks around and is disobedient to his mother and to me, the head of the household. I'm the king of the family, you know.

Good for you. How can I help you?

I want to know how far I can go while, uh, disciplining my son. We've tried quoting Scripture to him, but he seems to have trouble with the English in the King James' version we use. I suppose I could get a more modern translation, but I'm afraid it wouldn't help.

You might give that a try, though. Sometimes the smallest things can make a difference.

I want to do more.

That's laudable. What did you have in mind?

I'd like to hit him.

Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute! Hit him?

Well, spank. I'd do it so I didn't leave any marks. Then it would just be his word against mine, right?

Yes, I suppose so, but . . .

Thanks! That what I needed to know! [click]

Hey, Jerry! Get me an investigator in here NOW.

The point of each of these little dialogues is to show that there are several ways for child abuse to be identified. However it actually happened in this case, it is clear that Gerard or his parents—probably Gerard—exhibited some kind of conduct that tipped somebody off.

If you ever suspect that some kid is being abused, boys and girls, tell a teacher, a social worker, a cop, somebody. No kid should have to deal with parents who are psychopaths. Thirty six whacks with a maple paddle is child abuse, not loving Christian child raising as Katie suggests. Children are not property; there are things you cannot do to them, even if you are the king of the family.

No comments: