Sunday, March 15, 2009

Competition brings out the best in people!

At least that’s what commenter “Wow” said in response to Spot’s post about King Banaian’s paean to rockem sockem merit pay for teachers:

You sound like someone who never could compete in anything and thus despise anyone who thinks that competition brings out the best in people. What an angry, little man you must be.

He forgot old, didn’t he, boys and girls?

Anyway, Spot had never heard that before, so he decided to ask some people if it was true.

Alex Rodriguez, did competition bring out the best in you?

Yes, it did. I’ve got several baseball records, and I only had to besmirch my own name and turn the Major League record book into an odiferous pile of offal to do it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. You could ask Barry Bonds, too; he’d give you the same answer.

Maybe “Wow” is right. Let’s ask somebody else.

Tonya Harding, did competition bring out the best in you?

Absolutely, it did. It made me a much more caring person; I was able to reach out to my ex-husband and my bodyguard so intensely that they decided they had to hurt a major rival, Nancy Kerrigan, on my behalf. If competition had not instilled in me such single mindedness, that never would have happened.

Well, “Wow,” Spot is nearly convinced. Let’s ask one more person to be sure.

Mike Tyson, did competition bring out the best in you?

Muzzaguggafro.

Sorry?

Azzboullutey!

Mr. Tyson appears to be talking with his mouth full, but Spot thinks he said “Absolutely!”

That’s pretty conclusive, don’t you think, boys and girls? We can say that competition, pitting one person against another, always brings out the best in people, and it is especially helpful in developing character. Thanks to “Wow!”

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