A new name for Emmer

Rarely does one put up a post saying that a candidate is “a foolish man pandering to foolish voters,” and offer Exhibit A of why, and then have the candidate publish Exhibit B the very next day. In the state’s largest newspaper, and over his own signature, no less. (I will write more about Emmer’s op-ed in the Strib soon; well, I did.)

But Tom Emmer seems committed to the quixotic path — like any other febrile nut in history willing to urge his supporters to mass humiliation, privation, starvation, or suicide — of prying a gem, the North Star, out of the crown of the United States.

There will be much speculation about the intellectual fountains that have watered Emmer’s brain: punitive parenting, vicious preschool playmates, a history teacher who inspired Emmer with tales of daring do in the old Confederacy, satanic fraternity initiation rituals, or maybe missing key lectures in constitutional law in law school.

Or maybe like Athena, he sprang, fully formed, from the forehead of Zeus.

But it doesn’t really matter; we are still left with the task of describing him. And that is where Spot needs your help. I’ve called him “Tenther Tom,” but that seems awfully derivative of “Tenther Tim.”

Help me think of a new and fresh name that has some historical and constitutional resonance, yet captures some of the Yosemite Sam charm of the man. Leave your suggestions in the comments; remember, it’s a family blog.

Time is short.

UPDATE: Ken Avidor contributes a great graphic to the effort to find a new nickname for Emmer. Extra points if you can identify the provenance of the original portrait.

FURTHER UPDATE: Don’t miss the follow up post Tom “Jefferson Jackson” Emmer.

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