Boy, that name is familiar.

Crockett. Kimberly Crockett. Of course! Kimmy is the president of the Minnesota chapter of the Federalist Society. Spotty remembers now. Kimmy is a spokeswoman for the antediluvian constitutional doctrine called originalism. Basically, the originalists want to freeze American society as of 1787 when the Constitution was drafted. This would relieve us all from all kinds of pesky problems, including the right of privacy in constitutional jurisprudence. The right of privacy has given us contraceptive freedom, reproductive freedom, and sexual freedom among consenting adults.

When John Roberts was first nominated to the Supreme Court, Kimmy wrote a screed in the Star Tribune complaining that the right to an abortion was a direct consequence of the evil right of privacy; Spotty responded to Kimmy:

Kimmy: Conservatives, used to playing defense, are just beginning to push back with public interest firms of their own. Judicial imperialism, so cherished by the left, is one of the reasons Republicans are doing well politically. Americans don't like being bullied by judicial fiat.

Spot: How the hell is protecting a same-sex couple or religious minorities bullying you? Actually, Kimmy, and this is very, very important: what you want is greater license to bully people who aren't just exactly like you, you little white bread creep.

That was a long introduction. Kimmy is in the paper again today. This time, she made a federal case out of what she sees as unwarranted state interference with her ability to buy discount plonk. Really.

Spot wants to be sure he has this right. States should have the authority to prohibit contraception, abortion, and same-sex snuggling, but states should not have the authority to regulate the manner of distribution of intoxicating liquor? Hysterical laughter. Sorry.

Spot cannot find a link to the article about the suit in the business section of today’s Strib. (Spot has had trouble finding a lot of stuff in the Strib the past couple of days, but that’s another story.) Almost as good, though, is the opinion piece by Lee McGrath, the executive director of the “Institute for Justice Minnesota Chapter.” Kimmy and a couple of wineries are the nominal plaintiffs, but you can be sure that the IJMC, a right wing law firm, is really the engine here.

A lengthy description of the suit isn’t really necessary, but the nub of it is Kimmy’s complaint that she cannot complete a transaction to buy, say a case of fermented right-wing Kool Aid, online from a winery. She has to use the telephone, fax or mail. This according to Kimmy’s lawyers, is a violation of the free speech rights of the plaintiffs, an unconstitutional act by the Minnesota Legislature.

Here’s the funny part. Commercial free speech as a doctrine has only arisen during Spot’s lifetime. In other words, activist judges recently made it up! And who said irony was dead? Activism is, apparently, in the eye of the beholder.

Don’t get Spot wrong, he likes a little red wine, even better than anti-freeze, but defending the expansion of wine distribution on commercial free speech grounds is titanic judicial activism.

Tags: Federalist Society commercial free speech