What children Spotty?
The Little Scholars.
You mean the King and Morticia Banaian's kids?
The same, grasshopper.
Why?
They clearly need it. Imagine a dinner conversation in the Banaian household:
The Perfesser leads off with a lecture on the difference between wants and needs. "Yes, Littlest, I know you said you needed a new sweatshirt. But you need to drink eight glasses of water a day; you don't need a sweatshirt, you want one."
"But Dad, I mean Professor Dad, it gets chilly at night and I have nothing to wear over my school uniform when I police the lawn before bed."
"Of course you do, Littlest. Have you lost the blanket from your bed? Do you not have the warm polyester parka we bought for you several years ago? If healthcare for poor children is not a need, a sweatshirt certainly isn't."
Then Morticia segues into the new art at the St. Cloud Public Library saying, "Yes, we mustn't fritter money away! Think of the money spent on art at the library in town. Any expenditure on art must be intended to glorify God, a party, preferably the Republican Party, or a monarch, like our own King George. It must be intended to promote obedience in the people. That thing looks like a bunch of vines."
The Little Scholars heave a sigh of resignation and return to their turnip porridge.
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