Scene: a chance meeting between Michele Bachmann and Jim Ramstad in the House cloak room:
JR: Hi Michele! How are you?
MB: Sniff. Better than you, apparently, Congressman Ramstad.
JR: Congressman Ramstad? That's pretty frosty Michele.
MB: I imagine that the honorable's member is pretty cold these days.
JR: Whoa! Michele, this is Jim Ramstad here. Jimbo. The Jimster. What gives?
MB: As if you didn't know.
JR: Humor me. Tell me what I know.
MB: Voting with the Democrats six times in a row, and on my first six votes, too! You left me and the colonel just hanging out there looking like a couple of primitives to the folks back in Minnesota.
JR: Well, Michele, if the s----
MB: What?
JR: Never mind. I just thought an increase in the minimum wage, expanded stem cell research, cutting tax breaks for big oil, cutting student loan interest rates, letting Medicare try to get better prices for drugs for seniors, and implementing the 911 Commission's recommendations were good ideas.
MB: HERESY!
JR: Not to mention fair.
MB: Fair? You know darn well mister that ideology and fairness have nothing to do with each other! When you let your mind be clouded with notions like facts and fairness, shoddy ideological decisions are the inevitable result. You need to clear your head, Congressman.
JR: I guess we just don't come from the same place, Michele.
MB: What do you mean by that?
JR: You come from the 6th District and I come from the 3rd. Maybe the 6th is just a little closer to heaven.
MB: HERESY and BLASPHEMY! [MB is quiet for a moment. She frowns and then bears the expression of one experiencing an epiphany. She continues in a loud, authoritative voice.]
SATAN, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE THE BODY OF CONGRESSMAN RAMSTAD!
JR: Come on now, Michele. Surely you're joking.
MB: GOOOO WAAAYE SAAAAAAAAATAAAANNNNNNNNNN NOOOOWWWWWW LLEAVVVVVE JIMMMMMMMBBBBBBBOOOO HUGGABUGGA!
JR: Jesus, Michele what the hell was that?
MB: Satan, you know perfectly well what I was saying. I was speaking in tongues. [MB drops to her knees, raising her eyes and hands toward the ceiling]
I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS BE CAST OUT FROM JIMBO!
JR: For crying out loud, Michele! Quiet down! The only thing that's gonna get cast out is you out of the House if you don't put a cork in it.
MB: Is that a threat Satan? God is my rock and my salvation. Yea, though I walk through---
JR: Yeah, yeah, Michele, I get it. Now get off your knees; I hear some people coming. I'm outta here.
MB: [to the retreating Ramstad] This isn't over you Lucifer!
Technorati Tags: Michele Bachmann, Jim Ramstad
JR: Hi Michele! How are you?
MB: Sniff. Better than you, apparently, Congressman Ramstad.
JR: Congressman Ramstad? That's pretty frosty Michele.
MB: I imagine that the honorable's member is pretty cold these days.
JR: Whoa! Michele, this is Jim Ramstad here. Jimbo. The Jimster. What gives?
MB: As if you didn't know.
JR: Humor me. Tell me what I know.
MB: Voting with the Democrats six times in a row, and on my first six votes, too! You left me and the colonel just hanging out there looking like a couple of primitives to the folks back in Minnesota.
JR: Well, Michele, if the s----
MB: What?
JR: Never mind. I just thought an increase in the minimum wage, expanded stem cell research, cutting tax breaks for big oil, cutting student loan interest rates, letting Medicare try to get better prices for drugs for seniors, and implementing the 911 Commission's recommendations were good ideas.
MB: HERESY!
JR: Not to mention fair.
MB: Fair? You know darn well mister that ideology and fairness have nothing to do with each other! When you let your mind be clouded with notions like facts and fairness, shoddy ideological decisions are the inevitable result. You need to clear your head, Congressman.
JR: I guess we just don't come from the same place, Michele.
MB: What do you mean by that?
JR: You come from the 6th District and I come from the 3rd. Maybe the 6th is just a little closer to heaven.
MB: HERESY and BLASPHEMY! [MB is quiet for a moment. She frowns and then bears the expression of one experiencing an epiphany. She continues in a loud, authoritative voice.]
SATAN, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE THE BODY OF CONGRESSMAN RAMSTAD!
JR: Come on now, Michele. Surely you're joking.
MB: GOOOO WAAAYE SAAAAAAAAATAAAANNNNNNNNNN NOOOOWWWWWW LLEAVVVVVE JIMMMMMMMBBBBBBBOOOO HUGGABUGGA!
JR: Jesus, Michele what the hell was that?
MB: Satan, you know perfectly well what I was saying. I was speaking in tongues. [MB drops to her knees, raising her eyes and hands toward the ceiling]
I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS BE CAST OUT FROM JIMBO!
JR: For crying out loud, Michele! Quiet down! The only thing that's gonna get cast out is you out of the House if you don't put a cork in it.
MB: Is that a threat Satan? God is my rock and my salvation. Yea, though I walk through---
JR: Yeah, yeah, Michele, I get it. Now get off your knees; I hear some people coming. I'm outta here.
MB: [to the retreating Ramstad] This isn't over you Lucifer!
Technorati Tags: Michele Bachmann, Jim Ramstad
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