SARAH!
Who's that?
Who do you think it is?
My conscience?
Think bigger.
Oh My God!
Herself.
Herself?
I change genders every couple of days, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know what to say.
That's a first. Actually, I have something I want to say to you.
I'm all ears, Lord.
I doubt that, but here goes. I understand that you said you would run for president if I told you to. Is that right?
Oh, you know it is, Lord. Is that what you are telling me now?
Jesus Christ!
[from the next room] What, Dad?
Never mind, Son. [returning to the conversation with Sarah] I will never tell you to run for president.
Don't you think I would make a good and faithful servant president for You?
I am not going to answer that. I don't do politics, and it really honks me off when politics does me. I keep telling your fellow traveler Michele Bachmann that, too. Just keep me out of it.
I don't think I can do that, Lord.
Why? Because without the holy trappings it is obvious to everyone, including the evangelicals, that you are just an unschooled, untutored, incurious lump?
[making a little pout with her lips] That wasn't very generous!
Stow it, Sarah, I'm impervious to flirting.
Well, I guess I'll just have to pretend that You told me to run, just like Michele did. She fasted and everything, made it look really good.
And the sad thing is, a lot of people will believe you. Intelligent design my hind end.
Well, sometimes I do think I hear Your Voice.
Sarah, when you talk to me, that's praying. When I talk back, it's probably just schizophrenia.
What are You saying, Lord?
[pause] Lord, are You there? Hello?
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