With Sigmund Spot.
Today, grasshopper, ve vill take za trip around za 'net to zee how za Republicans are coping with za loss of za presidency and several House and Senate seats. Za short answer is not well.
Will we get snacks at the end, Sigmund Spot?
Maybe grasshopper, if you behave!
So, vere to go first? Ah, let's look right here at za Cucking Stool and a comment left after za election by za adam smith. It reads, in part:
This country is definitely center-right. Obama basically won on a conservative platform: tax cuts, market driven health care, work hard, be patriotic, he talked tough on Pakistan, used private campaing [sic] financing, used Rove-created micro-marketing tactics, he was for bailing out wall street (which will haunt him), etc. That platform is definitely right of something.
You zee, grasshopper, za cognitive dissonance must be killing za adam smith. He's za conservative, and now he will have za Democratic president. What to do? What to do? Za adam smith's head is hurting!
In situations like zis, za patient will try to eliminate za cognitive dissonance. Here, za adam smith can do one of two tings: 1: he can change za attitude toward za Democrats, or 2) he can decide zat za Democrats are conservative. Za adam smith chooses number two.
But, hoo boy, not all conservatives zink zat way! Take our friend za Katie, who writes today:
We've just elected a Democratic Congress and a president whom the non-partisan National Journal has named as America's "most liberal senator."
Ja, zat Katie is a curious case. Here, she is za case of denial and za displacement.
How's that, Sigmund Spot?
Vell, first of all, she writes:
Hold up, folks. We're not headed into uncharted territory here. Over the years, America has experienced countless zigs and zags in economic and social policy, but has repeatedly proven its ability to right itself and avoid long-term damage. When liberal politicians in power over-reach, as they usually do, we can count on common sense to provide a corrective.
Katie cannot quite believe zat ve finally purged ourselves [Siggy is za naturalized citizen] of za worst grifters and imperial hucksters ever! She zinks ve vill come to our senses and "right" ourselves. Zat's za denial.
Za column is also full of za digs at liberals:
In this electoral climate, anyone with a "D" after his name - even a potty-mouthed comedian - could be competitive in a race for high elective office.
Zis one is more subtle. Za President-Elect is enjoying za feelings of good will, so it would be churlish, even for za Katie, to heap too much on Barack Obama. So, she finds another, more convenient, and safer target, za Al Franken.
But za most obvious coping strategies on display come from za Shot in za Dark. Both Mitch and JRoosh are involved in za fantasy zinking. First is za Mitch, who zeems to zink zat za Bile Duct 1280 radio is za reason zat Kline, Paulsen, and Bachmann won. Here's za fantasy zinking:
A week ago, the Three Tenors of Talk came to town. They got out an avalanche of the base; the Patriot expected perhaps 1,500 people, maybe; we drew almost 3,000, and were turning people away at the door by the time we were ready go get going last October 28.
A conservative Republican electorate that was widely reported as “despirited” going into that week came out afterward and, to quote Minnesota’s great sage, “shocked the talking heads” at 425 Portland a week later.
Where does the core of AM1280’s demographic live?
In the Third, the Sixth and the Second Districts.
Ve also call zis za delusions of grandeur!
And zen, ve have JRoosh, who blames stock market declines after the election on za Barack Obama:
That's right Mitch, the Market didn't exactly endorse Obama's victory. In fact, Barack Obama made history two days in a row: the largest post-election stock market plunge in history.
Never mind zat za stock market has been making record plunges for several weeks and has lost six zousand points in za last year. And never mind zat za recent declines have happened at za time zis was announced:
Stocks slumped amid a poor outlook for the retail and automobile industries and worries about the state of the labor market.
You have to vunder vut za JRoosh does for a living!
Vell, zat's enough for now.
Do we get treats, Siggy?
You were too squirmy, grasshopper. Sorry.