Monday, November 10, 2008

Michele, you are a piece of work

And made in Your image, too, Lord. Tra la!

My image in a funhouse mirror, maybe. You seem full of yourself today.

Well, I won the election after all!

You did? Well, I hadn't noticed.

Oh poo, You did too; You know everything.

Yeah, but there are some things I don't pay much attention to. Tell me how you did it.

Well, you remember our little talk when I was getting ready to make the apology for my remarks on Hardball? And how You advised me not to do it?


Well, I did it! And it worked! Maybe that's another example of Your not being so all All Knowing and All Seeing, eh?

I'm sure you're right, Michele. By the way, what are you feeling now?

Well, Lord, now that you mention it, I feel kinda tingly. Oh my God, my hair is standing on end!

I know. Did you even take enough science to know what that means?

You're gonna strike me dead with lightning!

Well, not today. Maybe later.

O, thank God!

You're welcome. But don't be sassy. What else did you do?

I compared myself favorably to my opponent, Elwyn Tinklenberg. I probably committed the sin of pride, Lord, but please forgive me.

Come on, Michele. You basically called him a criminal. It's the sin of bearing false witness that comes to mind.

I thought You weren't paying attention.

Just wanted to see it if made a difference in what you said. Apparently, it does. I don't like that much, either.

Remember, Lord, everything I do is to glorify You.

Gee. thanks, Michele. I don't know how many times I have told you that I don't feel especially glorified by your anti-gay bigotry or your bizarre end-times eschatology.

You mean as foretold by St. John the Divine in the Book of Revelation?

John of Patmos? Loony John? How that cluck ever got a book in the Bible I will never know. Please know this, Michele: in spite of all the psalm reading (get it?), owl-entrails reading, and whatever else it is they do over the the Olive Tree Ministries, there is no plan to end the world. You and the rest of the "drill, baby drill" morons may burn it up, but don't look at me.

Well, Lord, it's been great talking to you!

Where are you going?

I am going to make an appearance on Christian talk radio! Ta ta.


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