Thursday, July 05, 2007

Meet Market

Alternate title: So, it's a deal then?

Today, Katie sings the praises of the Internet to find Mr. Right, or perhaps Mr. Right Wing:

Twenty-five years after I left the bar scene, it is still often a headache to meet Mr. or Ms. Right. But for many, the Internet has transformed the process. It has vastly expanded singles' potential contacts and, at the same time, equipped them to focus their search like a laser.

Do any of you think that Katie has ever been in a bar? Apparently she has, because this is the lede for her column:

Over the years, I've regaled my kids with tales of the sometimes hair-raising experiences I had with men I encountered while searching for a mate in younger days.

There was the guy I met at a dance, who morphed into a fiend on the highway. He drove the wrong way up a highway entrance ramp at top speed because, he said, I reminded him of an ex-girlfriend. Or the guy who wanted to rendezvous at the Playboy Club so he could prove to me that he was a bigwig. When we arrived, he promised, I would see "bunnies" bringing a phone to his table so he wouldn't miss his oh-so-important calls.

Katie, please believe Spot when he tells you this is so much more than your kids want to know.

So how did Katie meet her hubby?

I finally stumbled on Mr. Right by a stroke of good fortune. After I left my job to go to law school, he was assigned to the seat next to mine in antitrust class.

Katie and her new boyfriend undoubtedly had romantic conversations about how to beat the regulators in a Sherman Act price-fixing investigation! And based on the alphabetical seating arrangements in most law school classrooms, Spot bets Katie's hubby is named something like Johnson or Lindholm.

According to Katie:

High tech information-gathering tools like these can help singles avoid dating disasters like the ones I faced.

Yeah, since it's so hard to get a wiretap these days, a person needs all the help s/he can get! Katie sounds about as romantic as James Woolsey, doesn't she? Spot always thought the fun of dating somebody new was getting to know them. Say, "Getting to Know You," that's catchy! Spot bets it would be a good song title.

Everything that Katie writes about Internet match-ups is true. But in a stunning role reversal here, Spot is the traditionalist. Efficiency is not the name of the game. Katie seems to talk about everything but romance.

Oh, and Katie, the sister you wrote about in the column? Please tell her she has Spot's best wishes for happiness. Really.

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