Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Mitch the whiner

Make that the insufferable, incessant, retching whiner Mitch. Dear God, deliver us from Mitch, the man who thinks that sackcloth and ashes are a fashion statement. Mitch the hot dryer vent of human beings, taking the crease out of your slacks and the curl out of you hair. Mitch, the man who sells a line of custom hair shirts. Mitch . . .

We get the picture, Spot. Why the rant?

Poor Mitch put up a post today lamenting the problems of the core cities:

The inner cities have their issues. If you’re in Minnesota and reading this, you know about them; you’ve either fled them, are paying for them via your taxes, or are - like me - living among them.

Where does Mitch live, Spotty? The near north side of Minneapolis?

Actually, grasshopper, he lives near Hamline University in St. Paul. But Mitch is so put upon, so besieged by something called "local government aid" that he can't stand it.

Wait a minute, Spot. I thought that LGA in effect took money from guys like you, Spot, and used it to provide services to core city residents like Mitch. Right?

Well, yes, that's right.

Why is he complaining and not you, Spot?

An interesting point, grasshopper. Perhaps it is because Spot recognizes that the entire metropolitan area is a community. Or perhaps it is just the nature of whiners. Regardless, Mitch, Spot says that you should get out of the house more: clean your garage, shovel your walks, mow the grass; you need the exercise.

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