On the floor of the Minnesota House:
The chair recognizes the member from . . . who are you again; you’re new, right?
[rather pompously] I’m Representative Keith Downey from Edina, Minnesota.
Minnesota? Well, imagine that. Go ahead.
I rise to offer an amendment to H.F. 886, the bill to accept stimulus money from the Great Satan, the federal government.
And?
My amendment would require the State of Minnesota to put a third of that money, or a half a billion dollars, whichever is more, into reserves.
You mean bank it?
Yes.
You do know, don’t you, that the stimulus money is supposed to be spent to stimulate the economy?
Really?
[the Chair nods] That’s why the federal government is going into further hock to distribute money to the states. [you putz, says the Chair under her breath] The Chair recognizes the member from Minneapolis.
[Rep. from Minneapolis] Are you out of your freakin’ mind?
[bangs the gavel, but smiles] Order. [turns back to Rep. Downey] Did you come up with this idea all by yourself?
No, Reps. Hoppe and Emmer, especially, helped me.
Okay, Hoppe and Emmer. Very funny. You know, your were freshmen once, too. The Chair admonishes you to remember what it was like.
* * *
The colloquy is imagined, but Keith Downey did in fact author an amendment to bank a half a billion dollars of whatever stimulus money that Minnesota receives. And the sad thing is, the amendment received over fifty votes, as you can see in the linked pages of the House Journal. The amendment was offered, after a Republican initiative to refuse any stimulus money was rejected by the House. Even Governor “Grooming Myself for a Run at the White House” Pepsodent wants to take the stimulus money.
No comments:
Post a Comment