Sunday, August 02, 2009

Dateline: Circle, MT, July 31, 2009

Two guys are standing around waiting to use the only unleaded pump at a gas station in Circle, Montana. Circle, for the uninitiated, is just down the road from Jordan, the home of famous crackpot Ted Kaczynski and ground zero for the Patriot movement. One fellow, in overalls with a straw hat, driving a flatbed truck with a range cattle waterer on the back, notices the other fellow’s car bearing a Minnesota plate. Here’s their conversation:

What part of Minnesota ya from?

The Minneapolis area.

The part with all the people.


I suppose you’ll be eatin’ each other pretty soon.

Beg pardon?

The way things are goin’.

I don’t think so.

Saw some flags at half staff; know what goin’ on?

We saw some too, in Great Falls, but we don’t know why. [some Montana big wig must have died]

[obviously trying to bait the Minnesotan] Maybe Obammy drowned in his beer!

[in a carefully calibrated response] I know a lot of people around here don’t like him, but I think he’s a good man.

[spits] He’s trying to install fascist-socialist regime. Just like Stalin.

[mentally considering the utility of remarking that while both systems can be authoritarian, fascism and socialism are rather opposites of each other; the Minnesotan decides to demur] That’s pretty unlikely.

You know the only thing Obammy ever did in the Senate was to try to stop the slaughter of wild horses, and now he wants to spend $500 million of our money to do it again? What would you do with an old horse?

Put it down, I suppose.

[snorts] Then you got a vet bill for $125 and you need a backhoe.

[returning to his main theme] Gets to the point where people who know how to work for a livin’ not gonna’ take it any more and rise up.

[it is tempting to ask who would buy the rancher’s stringy, sage brush-fed cows if all the city people disappeared] I don’t think it’ll get to that.

At least we still got our guns. Do you know we’re the only country that still has guns? If it weren’t for our guns, they’d be here now.

Well, so long. I’ve got to get down the road.

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