God catches Michele fibbing

Michele!

What? Oh, it's just you.

Don't you mean "Hosanna, it's You?"

Yes, of course. Sorry. I'm just a little stressed right now about something I said.

That's why I want to talk to you.

O Lord, an ever present help in time of need!

Well, not exactly this time.

Am I in for a chastisement, Lord?

Yes. But don't worry, I don't believe in hurting anybody. You told some bush league reporter that Iran was going to turn western Iraq into a terrorist training playground. Didn't you? And the reporter bought it and printed it. That's about right, isn't it?

I guess so.

You guess so? Remember Who you're talking to here.

Yes, I did.

That's better. Where did you come by that information?

A little bird told me.

Don't be impertinent, Michele.

I'm not. It's just my way of saying that I had a confidential source.

Right. But you can tell me who it is. I can keep a secret.

Well . . . I guess I really don't have a source. But I believe it to be true.

[God snorts, which sounds like thunder] But you really knew that I knew you were fibbing, didn't you?

Yes. But I am really sure that my information is correct!

Michele, do you know the difference between my children the Sunnis and my children the Shia?

Sort of.

Then you know that the Iranians are mostly Persians, not Arabs, and that they're predominantly Shia?

They are? I mean they are.

And you know that western Iraq—including Anbar Province—is predominantly Sunni?

Right.

Then tell me why your theory doesn't hold up.

I don't follow you. I mean I do follow you, but I don't understand you here.

All right. The Sunnis and the Shia are at each other's throats in Iraq. Sometimes I wonder whether giving humans Free Will was such a hot idea after all. Do you really think that the Iranians are going to set up shop in Anbar?

Well they might.

And I might decide to go swimming in the Potomac next Monday. Be serious Michele. People are calling you a whackjob. Frankly, as one of my followers, you're making me look silly here.

O Lord, I don't mean to do that!

Is that an apology?

Yes Lord!

We've talked about drinking too much Kool Aid before, haven't we?

Yes, Lord. And I will try to be better about that.

I doubt that you'll be better, but I would appreciate it if you at least try.

Okay.

By the way, Michele, how are you getting along with Marcus these days?

Lord you know.

Yes, I do. But I have a feeling that the situation is moving toward a resolution.

Update: Spot understands that the St. Cloud Times did not run an article on Bachmann's comments, but it did put up a podcast of the interview. God regrets the error. Bachmann's rear guard action is described here.

Tags: Michele Bachmann, Iraq war