Ring. Ring. Bachmann residence. Michele speaking. PPPPPRRRAAAAAAAAAAAISSSSSSEEE YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE THHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOOOOOOOOORD! HUGGABUGGA!
I'm glad I caught you Michele; it's Mac Hammond.
Oh pastor Hammond, how nice to talk to you!
Well, it's nice to find somebody who will talk to me!
What do you mean?
What do you mean, "What do I mean?" I am in some trouble here.
A Godly man like you? That hardly seems possible. OH MY GOD, ARE YOU A HOMOSEXUAL?
No, nothing like that. It's worse.
Oh come on pastor! Cheer up. It couldn't be worse than being a homosexual!
I am no longer sure of that.
You must have something really weighing on your normally-soaring soul. Tell me what it is.
[muttering under his breath] I cannot believe this clueless broad got elected to Congress.
Well, my church, The Living Word Christian Center® was too good to me, or at least the board of directors was.
You're just being modest, pastor. I am sure you deserve everything you get!
I'm afraid that may be true. I had such a good thing going at LVCC. I could use it as my personal piggy bank for loans, and it helped me out a lot with the expenses of my hobby.
Oh yes! I can still remember that thrilling flight we took. You really are the "sky pilot!" [Michele is lost in a reverie for a moment]
I can't imagine that anyone would object to your flying! It's so, so, spiritual!
It's also hellaciously expensive, Michele, especially the kind of plane we were flying. Especially on a pastor's salary. Even this pastor. Now, thanks to a leaked report, everyone knows. Even if the congregation doesn't object, which it probably will, the IRS is gonna take a dim view of flyboy Mac.
Yes, the IRS can be so problematic!
You're a tax lawyer, Michele, or at least you were one, right? Can you help me?
Oh pastor Mac! I'll pray for you right now! Dear Lord . . . .
Uh, Michele, I had something a little more, well temporal, in mind. You're a Congresswoman, right?
I guess I hafta spell it out. Can you apply a little influence at the IRS for me? You know, sweet talk 'em, or threaten to reduce their budget, or something?
I suppose that I can try. But are you sure you wouldn't rather have me pray for you?
No Michele, really.
I'll have to think about it, pastor Mac. Goodnight. Godspeed.
Image by Avidor.
Tags: Mac Hammond, Michele Bachmann, Living Word Christian Center