Boys and girls, Spot has something very serious to discuss with you today. He's just become aware of it and wanted to share it as soon as he could.
What is it Spotty?
There is a shadowy group, national in scope, that has been spreading across the country, infiltrating our cities and towns and our very homes. Its agenda is un-American to the core. The group members are even brain washing their children to carry on after the current generation of radicals fades from the scene.
In a chilling development, this group has established a beach head, right here in Spot's home town, Edina, just before the Republican National Convention.
That is serious, Spot! Who are these dangerous radicals? The communists? Maybe the Islamofascists? Anarchist bicycle riders?
No, grasshopper, it's worse than any of those.
It's the EcoMoms.
Very funny, Spotty.
Don't be so dismissive, grasshopper; Spot is just picking up on Katie's column today: Edina EcoMoms may be opening a can of worms. Here are the opening grafs:
What's the hottest trend on the Twin Cities suburban women's social scene? Product parties are passé. Volunteering at the food shelf sounds so yesterday. Still, gals gotta have fun -- and a sense of superiority.
Edina housewives may have hit the jackpot with a new EcoMom group. Now they can brag about their kids' soccer triumphs and save the Earth at the same time.
The mostly stay-at-home EcoMoms gather in a member's living room and sip merlot under a banner that proclaims, "Sustain your home, sustain your planet, sustain your self." Along with the other 11,000 members of the national EcoMom Alliance, they say, they are "making the world a better place through local, organic, sustainable, non-toxic, slow choices."
The "non-toxic" part had to be the last straw for Katie. To Spot, however, the only poor judgment that Spot can find in this is choosing merlot to drink.
Katie is especially critical of the group's recommended use of worms to break down organic garbage:
It takes a bin of 800 to 1,000 worms to eat one-half pound of organic garbage a day, according to a site linked from the website. If my family's output is any measure, I'd guess about 10,000 of the slimy critters are needed to keep up with the demand.
Katie imagines all the worm bins would depress property values in the tonier sections of town. Creating more landfills out of sight is obviously preferable.
Katie also thinks that craft activities with your kids to do things like make bracelets out of old toothbrushes is just too much:
Wracked with guilt over sending your kids' old toothbrushes to a landfill? Edina EcoMoms' website links to www.CoolMomsCare.org, where you can learn to convert them into bracelets, assuming you have the time. After boiling the toothbrushes in water, you'll need to painstakingly pluck out each bristle with tweezers.
Apparently, Katie has never heard of symbolism. Which is odd, when you think of all the symbolism in Katie's favorite group: Christians.
Katie wants you to watch out for this group of fanatics, boys and girls; they might make you pick up your trash or recycle those plastic bags and bottles.
And that would never do.