Monday, December 05, 2005

Katie's missionary position . . .

Katie tells us today about a missionary school in Minneapolis. And you thought that all of the missionary schools were in Africa or New Guinea or places like that! For shame. Local kids, especially minority kids according to Katie, benefit from a little Christianizing, too!

Wait a sec . . . Really? It’s not? Okay; Spot will have to start over.

Spot got confused by the rhetoric about teachers on a mission and missionary zeal. Sorry; his mistake. Coulddha happened to anybody. Anyway, we learned today about a little slice of Bill Cooper’s version of heaven, Ascension Catholic School, a kindergarten through eighth grade that Katie tells us has 293 students, 90% percent of whom are minorities. The Private School Review says it has 269 students, 83% of whom are students of color, but hey, that’s pretty damn close for Katie. And Ascension spends much less per pupil than the public schools in Minneapolis.

Katie tells us how well this school does on achievement tests, ranking near the gold standard, the schools in Spot’s home town of Edina. Pretty good. Apparently, this is accomplished by drilling the little buggers endlessly with “the Saxon Math program and E.D. Hirsch's Core Knowledge curriculum in literature, history and science,” so that they can perform well on standardized tests. But is Ascension “a powerful rebuttal to one of the American education establishment's central tenets: Better schools require more money”? Katie says so.

Spot has a few questions, though. How big is the special education department? What percentage of the students are ESL? Do any of them ride public school buses or receive special education services from public school teachers? Do any of the students participate in extra-curricular activities sponsored by public schools? How many Muslims attend school at Ascension? What percentage of Ascension teachers leave every year to take a public school teaching job?

Every public school in the state gets the same amount in per pupil aid. It is only categorical aid for things like ESL students where Minneapolis gets additional help. But Katie takes one little parochial school, applies her miserable analytic and accounting skills and her ignorance of public school finance, and concludes that the entire public school system is a failure.

Spotty has told you before, gentle readers, to beware lawyers bearing inductive reasoning. Katie’s only real interest here is that of an advocate; an advocate who wants to destroy public education. She wants everyone to be educated by the missionaries.

God save us.

Tags: disses

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