Thursday, October 04, 2007

Katie, this is Janet

You all know Katie, boys and girls. You know Janet, too, if you have been reading SCSU Scholars or Spot's comments about Janet and the Gathering of Eagles.

Where to begin? Okay, we'll start with Katie's column on the bicycle mob. Katie is really cheesed because the cops don't wade in a break some heads during the monthly Critical Mass ride:

Now we know who's in charge of Minneapolis streets. It's a loosely organized group of serial lawbreakers called Critical Mass. Last Friday, 600 or so took over city thoroughfares, breaking traffic laws with impunity while police stayed in the background.

Every month, Critical Mass cyclists ride through rush hour traffic in cities across the country. Some insist the ride is just a "celebration." Others acknowledge a political agenda: they want to enlighten the rest of us -- greedy capitalists that we are -- about the joys of bike riding so we can join them in saving the planet.

We really do have trouble, right here in River City, boys and girls, because:

Are you rushing to catch the last few innings of your son's baseball game?

Trying to get to the show you promised your wife for her birthday?

Critical Mass doesn't give a rip. Tough luck for you, Mac, because you're a gas-guzzler and I'm living green.

Katie, Spot knows that bicyclists are such a pain whenever you're out in your Lincoln Navigator and talking on the cell phone, but did it ever occur to you that the people on bikes are just lobbying for their own little spot in the sun? Because most encounters between the gas guzzlers and bicyclists end up like this:

So, Katie, maybe the Critical Mass rallies will penetrate you consciousness and make you be a little better about sharing the road. Nah. Who is Spot kidding?

This is where Janet comes in Katie. Maybe she could get a contingent of the Gathering of Eagles to, er, police the next Critical Mass outing. These guys and gals like to break heads:

Want to know how an incredibly unpopular radical faction whose leader claims autocratic sway over a population that despises him plans to stay in power? By brute force, what else? Right now, they're employing brownshirt-style "private" thug bands to intimidate – and beat up – critics of the regime's criminal war. Soon – after some "security incident" or another, real or concocted – we will see military troops (and those contract militias, of course) on the street, taking over from the thugs.

You think "it won't happen here?" Wake up and smell the bilgewater, Sparky; it's already happening. As AfterDowningStreet reports, just three days after a gang from the militarist group "Gathering of Eagles" (better known as "Bootlickers of Power") physically attacked the father of an American soldier who was killed in Iraq, the Leader himself had the top henchmen of the group join him for breakfast on the White House lawn. As the picture shows, Bush went out of his way to give the touchy-feely treatment to Bootlicker Chris Hill, who took part in the vicious attack on Carlos Arredondo at an anti-war protest in Washington, D.C. last month.

It is hard to overstate the significance of this presidential embrace. Sure, one might argue that Bush himself had no idea what the Bootlickers were doing, in his name, at the protest. (Although when it comes to anything that augments his power, inflates his self-esteem and punishes his enemies, Bush usually displays an intimate, detailed grasp of the subject.) But it is certain that Bush's minions and handlers in the White House knew exactly what Hill and his fellow Bootlickers had done. Their "liberation" of a picture of Arredondo's dead son from his "peacenik" father was trumpeted loudly through the rightwing media; the Bootlickers were lauded as heroes for this bold action. And the White House knew exactly what it was signaling – and to whom – when it arranged this special honor and photo op for the Bootlickers: "Well done, thou good and faithful servants! Let's see more of this!"

Janet, of course, is down with the Gathering of Eagles:

Anarchist anti-war protestors spray-painted the steps of the US Capitol in January. Another anti-war protest being organized by a coaltion [sic] of radical leftist and anarchist groups is "gathering near the Vietnam Veterans Memorial" on March 17th.

Although the organizers deny any intention to "defile" the Memorial, I will be joining A Gathering of Eagles, which plans to be present to protect the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.

So you see, Katie, what you need to do is import some thugs. W would undoubtedly approve.

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