Some are more equal than others

Over at Shot in the Dark (no, I won’t link there), Mitch Berg takes on the events in Austin and domestic terrorism, trying to wrap himself in the flag of feminism to make a point that isn’t entirely clear even after reading the piece three times over. He does challenge Rew at Powerliberal to “ding his premise” but it’s pretty hard to see what the premise is beyond taking “feminists” to task for being angry that they might be exposed to violence when going in for that annual pap smear.

One part of his post, though, is worth examining. He claims that “abortion-related violence has been declining [but] eco-terrorism has been growing.” In support of his claim, Mitch turns to a May 2005 report from CNN that simply regurgitates ATF statistics:

Senior officials from the FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms (ATF) and Explosives told a Senate panel Wednesday of their growing concern over these groups.

Of particular concern are the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) and the Earth Liberation Front (ELF).

John Lewis, the FBI's deputy assistant director for counterterrorism, said animal and environmental rights extremists have claimed credit for more than 1,200 criminal incidents since 1990. The FBI has 150 pending investigations associated with animal rights or eco-terrorist activities, and ATF officials say they have opened 58 investigations in the past six years related to violence attributed to the ELF and ALF.

In the same period violence from groups like the Ku Klux Klan and anti-abortion extremists have declined, Lewis said.

Unfortunately, it’s a claim that has its basis in a government that has pretended that domestic terrorism against some people is worth counting and some is not. Two months before the CNN story, Congressional Quarterly reported that government statistics showed a marked decrease in abortion clinic violence because they’d stopped counting such threats as terrorism:

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) does not list right-wing domestic terrorists and terrorist groups on a document that appears to be an internal list of threats to the nation’s security.

According to the list — part of a draft planning document obtained by CQ Homeland Security — between now and 2011 DHS expects to contend primarily with adversaries such as al Qaeda and other foreign entities affiliated with the Islamic Jihad movement, as well as domestic radical Islamist groups.

It also lists left-wing domestic groups, such as the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) and the Earth Liberation Front (ELF), as terrorist threats, but it does not mention anti-government groups, white supremacists and other radical right-wing movements, which have staged numerous terrorist attacks that have killed scores of Americans. Recent attacks on cars, businesses and property in Virginia, Oregon and California have been attributed to ELF.

* * *

Individuals affiliated with such groups have also been involved in many smaller terrorist acts, including mailing hundreds of bogus anthrax letters to abortion clinics, and in plots to obtain and use conventional, chemical and nuclear weapons against civilians.

It's easy to dismiss those things that one doesn't think are worthy of counting.

A day late and a dollar short again

Spot was going to write about Bishop John Nienstedt, der Panzerpappen's choice to replace the retiring Harry Flynn as archbishop for the local archdiocese. He seems like quite a fellow! But both Nick Coleman and MNObserver beat Spotty to it. Spot has been so content basking in the reflected glory of winning the award from City Pages last week that he's kind of asleep at the switch. Ah well. Parenthetically, boys and girls, this is why it is so difficult to win back-to-back World Series.

Coleman's column, entitled A dove of peace taken down by religious birds of prey (Spot thought at first the column was about Katie!), tells the story of how a Lutheran church took in a Catholic congregation after the latter's church was seriously damaged by the devastating tornado that ripped though St. Peter, Minnesota in 1998. Apparently, the two congregations each held their own services, and had some joint services as well, for over two years, until the Catholic church was repaired:

Pastors Mark Solyst and Elizabeth Yates of First Lutheran Church, which escaped damage, called the Catholic pastor, the Rev. Harry Behan, with an offer he couldn't refuse:

"What is ours is yours."

Holy Week was at hand, and with the tears and the prayers of a people hit by what would be named Minnesota's most severe weather event of the 1990s in mind, Father Behan accepted. On Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil, Catholics and Lutherans came together at First Lutheran.

Genuflecting Catholics had no kneelers. Lutherans, sitting beside Catholic nuns, had trouble keeping their eyes off their exotic guests. And there was the sensitive issue of communion. After years of ecumenical outreach, the Catholic Church was pulling back. Then-President Bill Clinton, a Protestant, had just been criticized for taking communion in a Catholic mass.

But the Christians of St. Peter, reeling from the destruction and psychological trauma of a tornado, came up with a solution: They gave themselves "a battlefield dispensation."It's like in a war," Behan told me then. "When you're being shot at, everyone worships with whoever leads them."This is not the time to divide," Solyst said at the time. "If I'm going to err, I'm going to err on the side of hospitality."

On Easter Sunday, the congregations returned to separate worship, sharing the Lutheran building with rotating services: Catholic mass at 8 and 11 a.m., Lutheran services at 9:30.

That arrangement lasted more than two years, until St. Peter's Catholic was rebuilt. The interfaith arrangement was a large part of the healing and recovery of the city.

But when John Nienstedt was appointed a bishop in New Ulm, he put an end to all the ecumenical nonsense! Yesiree bob! There is no reason why sturdy and faithful Catholics couldn't hold services outside, year-round, for a couple of years! That would be better than accepting the hospitality of a bunch of Lutherans with the attendant risk of heading down the road to perdition! And what if the Host transubstantiated itself in some Lutheran's mouth? No tellin' what might happen.

Nienstadt has similar enlightened attitudes on many issues:

When Nienstedt replaced New Ulm Bishop Raymond Lucker, a progressive who died in 2001, he denounced many of Lucker's policies and reportedly banned cohabiting couples from church marriages, kept female church leaders from leading prayers at meetings, opposed stem-cell research and claimed homosexuality is caused by childhood trauma rather than something innate in a person.

MNObserver, writing at Norwegianity, links to a PiPress online article that includes this quote from a priest who used to be in the New Ulm diocese:

Kenneth Irrgang, a retired priest who clashed with Nienstedt when he was bishop in New Ulm, predicted that Nienstedt will meet resistance among the 654 active priests in the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis.

"I expect disaster there. I don't think those priests are going to accept him," said Irrgang, who now lives in St. Cloud. "He's a micromanager. He has to control everything. He hews the line from the Vatican without any question whatsoever. He's not a very good people person."

No he doesn't sound like much of a people person, does he?

We can expect Nienstedt to use his bully pulpit as archbishop to rail against abortion, stem cell research, and homosexuality, that's for sure. His position will give him the ability to influence the lives of Catholics and non-Catholics alike, and whether those of us in the non- category like it or not. And Spotty says, boys and girls, we probably won't.

On the bright side, Nienstedt sure sound like Katie's kind of a man. She must be very happy. We can look for saccharine paeans by Katie to Nienstadt in coming months. Oh well, it'll be a break from Katie's Muslim beat.

Tag: John Nienstadt

First Muslim Spotty winner!

At least Spot thinks it's the first one. For his powerful commentary in Saturday's Star Tribune, Ahmed Tharwat wins a Spotty™. Since the Strib will take the piece down in a few weeks, Spot reproduces it here in its entirety.

Ahmed Tharwat

Is it me, or has Star Tribune columnist Katherine Kersten used her forum at the paper to vent fear of Muslim Americans in our communities?

From the "flying imams" fiasco at the airport, to the cabdrivers facing off with the Metropolitan Airports Commission about transporting alcohol, to the current flurry of articles about plumbing adjustments to accommodate foot-washing at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, Kersten's interest strikes me as paranoia, or even out-and-out phobia.

In a culture like the United States, it seems, we have very few requirements for cleanliness beyond 'wash your hands.' Maybe that is why this topic appears to some a mystery.

Whatever her motive, Kersten is consistent in her attempts to agitate the reader about Muslims living in the United States and their perceived "threat" to Western civilization. Her zealous coverage of issues of the Muslim community is both puzzling and frightening.

The foot-washing topic has gone from a local concern at a community college to a national story. Will the shock jocks be ranting about it next? Shouldn't Kersten give more attention to students who bring guns or drugs to schools than to those who want to wash their feet and stay clean?

Kersten seems intent on stirring up negative public opinion on relatively minor topics in her apparent crusade to save American culture from the Muslims. If this is "just the beginning," as she warned of the foot-washing threat, what else might Muslims bring to campus? Lord forbid, Arabic books?

Let's consider this assault on Western values and North American culture by Muslim personal hygiene. To understand the topic, Kersten really needs to understand the importance of the washing rituals, which may have something to do with praying (in Arabic this is called wudu) or not. Some Muslims may complain about a lot of issues, but I do not think they complain nearly enough about their daily torture at public bathrooms, where you are provided condoms as an incentive for casual clean sex but are severely under-equipped for a thorough washing.

Besides lacking a low-level washing area with a drain for washing feet, there is also no bidet-like system for cleaning after using the toilet. Water is the essential element for a thorough cleaning -- toilet paper will not suffice.

You can say all you want about Muslims, but when it comes to the cultural issues of washing and personal hygiene, we are very meticulous. Without going into detail -- we like to keep our private parts private -- Muslims usually try to avoid public bathrooms. Muslim students at a college will, however, spend many hours on the campus and have to make do with the facilities available to them. "Being clean is half of religion," the prophet Mohammed said.

Washing and following cultural rituals of cleaning don't strike me as threats to North American culture.

To Kersten I would urge: If you are going to trail Muslims wherever they go, at least learn about this community's customs and values as much as you urge them to understand yours. Believe me, Muslim washing rituals don't constitute the threat to American culture that your writing does.

Ahmed Tharwat is host of the Arab-American TV show "Belahdan," which airs Sundays at 10:30 p.m. on Twin Cities Public Television (Ch. 17).

Not, it's not just you Mr. Tharwat. A lot of people, and some dogs, too, have concluded that Katie is a vicious bigot. When Katie talks about "western civilization," boys and girls, what she really means is Christian. And Katie means her brand of hysterical intolerance, masquerading as a religion. The Christo-fascist death brigade.

Spotty is really tired of Katherine Kersten. He is tired of the entire snake-oil sales force of which Kersten is a part: All of the pseudo-patriotic, pseudo-courageous, pseudo-religious, pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-human cretins who have infected the body politic like a virus. There is no sense in placating them, trying to negotiate with them, or trying to understand or respect their views. They're like the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz: relentless and evil.

The gloves are off, Katie.

Update: Sport forgot to add: Remember, boys and girls, a Spotty is awarded to the author of a letter to the editor, an op-ed piece, or a blog post or comment that Spot wishes that he has written.

Also, Spot saw the above commentary in the paper, but thanks to Mark at Norwegianity for reminding him how good it was.

Finally, for new readers, the handsome Spotty™ medallion was produced by Tild, proprieter of the eponymous blog Tild~.

Tags: Katherine Kersten, Muslim cultural practices

Condoleezza, Condoleezza

Sung, of course, to the tune of the Nat King Cole classic, Mona Lisa.

Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Waxman's called you
To find out for sure what you really knew
Is it only 'cause you're fibbing Condoleezza
That the crooked smirk has crept into your smile?

Do you smile to keep your cover, Condoleezza?
Or is this your way to hide a guilty heart?
Many schemes have been brought to your doorstep,
Are you complicit, or just a misfit?
Are you warm, are you real, Condoleezza?
Or just a cold and lonely tool of the right?

(instrumental bridge)

Do you smile to keep your cover, Condoleezza?
Or is this your way to hide a guilty heart?
Many schemes have been brought to your doorstep,
Are you complicit, or just a misfit?
Are you warm, are you real, Condoleezza?
Or just a cold and lonely tool of the right?

Condoleezza, Condoleezza . . .

Tags:Condoleezza Rice, Nat King Cole, Henry Waxman

A little over five

That's five Blacksburg Units. That 's how many Iraqi civilians were killed on Saturday.

Tags: Iraq war, Blacksburg

The existential conflict

Bill Moyers interviewed Jon Stewart on PBS tonight. You can watch the interview here, or read the transcript here. Although Stewart denies being a journalist, the interview comes on the heels of a recent finding that Daily Show viewers are materially better informed than Fox News viewers. Spot says catch the whole interview, but here's part of the discussion about the administration's strategy and posturing about the war in Iraq:

JON STEWART: You know, one of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial-- you know, foundational issues. That [be]come[s] sort of sort of a tipping point.

BILL MOYERS: War? War?

JON STEWART: But war that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country. I think that's why they're so really — here's the disconnect. It's sort of this odd and I've always had this problem with the rationality of it. That the President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come. "And, so what I'm going to do is you know, Iraq has to be won, or our way of life ends, and our children and our children's children all suffer. So, what I'm gonna do is send 10,000 more troops to Baghdad."

So, there's a disconnect there between — you're telling me this is fight of our generation, and you're going to increase troops by 10 percent. And that's gonna do it. I'm sure what he would like to do is send 400,000 more troops there, but he can't, because he doesn't have them. And the way to get that would be to institute a draft. And the minute you do that, suddenly the country's not so damn busy anymore. And then they really fight back, and then the whole thing falls apart. So, they have a really delicate balance to walk between keeping us relatively fearful, but not so fearful that we stop what we're doing and really examine how it is that they've been waging this.

That's really it, isn't it? Dick Cheney says this is an existential conflict, and George Bush tells us to go shopping. If those two confidence men really thought that the "global war on terror" was an existential conflict, they'd be behaving differently, wouldn't they? These fools thought that the U.S. would have a "cakewalk" in Iraq, that we wouldn't even get our hair mussed. And now that their lark has come a cropper, they don't know what to do.

We can't really treat it like an existential conflict, because too many people would start to say, "What the hell is going on here?" They're starting to do that anyway. And we can't withdraw without a massive loss of face—not for the U.S.; we don't have any face left anyway—but for Bush, Cheney & Co. Instead, we'll just muddle along, adding to the carnage of lives lost, until GWB can return to his ranch or his new digs in Paraguay to bear the obloquy of perhaps the worst foreign policy disaster in American history.

Update: Added link to Pew Research Center site on study mentioned in the post.

Tags: Iraq war, Jon Stewart, Bill Moyers, existential conflict

Did he fall or was he pushed?

When Spot went out fishing this morning (beautiful day on the stream and some fish, too; thanks for asking), he was sitting on a link that he hoped would be waiting for him this evening:

Senior Justice Department officials had raised concerns about Tom Heffelfinger, the former U.S. attorney for Minnesota, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' one-time chief of staff told congressional investigators.

The ex-chief of staff, Kyle Sampson, made the remarks in an interview with the investigators last week, according to a senior congressional judiciary aide who was familiar with the interview. The aide spoke Thursday on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the investigation.

What are we to make of this AP story, boys and girls? Well, the diarist smit2174 already has made something of it at Minnesota Campaign Report. This person has been following the soap opera As Rachel Squirms from the beginning. The post is worth a read.

In the AP piece, Tom Heffelfinger reiterates his story that he was not pressured to leave his spot as U.S. Attorney.

In a telephone interview Thursday, Heffelfinger repeated that he left the job on his own, and he said he was not aware of any concerns that senior Justice Department officials had about him.

Remember, boys and girls, that Heffelfinger left his position early in the planning of this new Night of the Long Knives. Remember, too, that when you add his service as U.S. Attorney for Minnesota in the first Bush administration, Heffelfinger had held the position for a total of about nine years. He clearly loved the job.

With that sort of tenure with the DOJ, don't you suppose that some career person at headquarters who knew Heffelfinger got wind that knavery was afoot and tipped him off in time for him to make a more-or-less graceful exit? And the tipee is protecting the tipper? Spotty doesn't know, but he'd bet a box of kibble that's what happened.

It's really okay, Mr. Heffelfinger. Spotty says to wear the fact that you were dissed by this gang of charlatans and double crossers as a badge of honor.

Tags: U.S. Attorneys, Purgegate

It's a sure sign

Boys and girls, do you know how to tell with certainty that the residential real estate market is in the toilet?

You wait to be told by an expert on CNBC or in the business pages in the Strib?

Then you'll probably be a little late, grasshopper. Spotty says to watch the teevee for an increase in commercials urging you to hire a Realtor®.

And now, boys and girls, Spot is going fishing. See you later.

He shoots, he misses!

Johnny Rocketseed (John Hinkeraker for the uninitiated) made the expected howl tonight about the subpoena of Condoleezza Rice to testify before Henry Waxman's committee in the House about the trumped-up claim that Iraq tried to buy yellowcake uranium from Niger. Johnny is nothing if not predictable. But he made one comment that caught Spot's eye:

Where to begin. [sic] Actually, as we've pointed out many times, the weight of the evidence is that Iraq did, in fact, try to buy uranium from Niger. Beyond that, what President Bush actually said in his State of the Union speech--the famous "sixteen words"--was indisputably true. And beyond that, who cares?

I beg your pardon, Johnny? Spotty wonders what planet this guy is from? Spot would like to see Johnny prove that assertion with competent evidence.

Boys and girls, your friend Spot decided to see how long it would take to debunk Johnny's codswallop. The answer is under a minute. In an article in the Friday New York Times on George Tenets' new book, due out next week. A NYT reporter got a hold of an advance copy and pens this:

Mr. Tenet describes helping to kill a planned speech by Mr. Cheney on the eve of the invasion because its claims of links between Al Qaeda and Iraq went "way beyond what the intelligence shows."

"Mr. President, we cannot support the speech and it should not be given," Mr. Tenet wrote that he told Mr. Bush. Mr. Cheney never delivered the remarks.

Mr. Tenet hints at some score-settling in the book. He describes in particular the extraordinary tension between him and Condoleezza Rice, then national security adviser, and her deputy, Stephen J. Hadley, in internal debate over how the president came to say erroneously in his 2003 State of the Union address that Iraq was seeking uranium in Africa.

He describes an episode in 2003, shortly after he issued a statement taking partial responsibility for that error. He said he was invited over for a Sunday afternoon, back-patio lemonade by Colin L. Powell, then secretary of state. Mr. Powell described what Mr. Tenet called "a lively debate" on Air Force One a few days before about whether the White House should continue to support Mr. Tenet as C.I.A. director.

"In the end, the president said yes, and said so publicly," Mr. Tenet wrote. "But Colin let me know that other officials, particularly the vice president, had quite another view."

He writes that the controversy over who was to blame for the State of the Union error was the beginning of the end of his tenure. After the finger-pointing between the White House and the C.I.A., he wrote, "My relationship with the administration was forever changed." [italics are Spot's]

So, boys and girls, who is the competent witness, George Tenet or Johnny Rocketseed?

It's not Johnny Rocketseed, is it, Spotty?

No, grasshopper, it's not.

Tags: Condoleezza Rice, George Tenet, yellowcake uranium

A Katie Quiz

Boys and girls, what scares Katie more than a Muslim?

Two Muslims?

Ah, a logical answer, grasshopper. But not the one that Spotty was looking for. The thing that scares Katie more than a Muslim is premarital sex. Thursday's column was an apologia for abstinence education under the headline: Abstinence study abstained from the larger truth. You see, boys and girls, there is a new study out on the effectiveness of abstinence education in preventing premarital teen-age sex. We'll let Katie describe the results:

What was the drastic finding that discredited abstinence programs, according to critics? The study assessed results from four abstinence-based programs around the country. Kids entered the programs in 1999-2001, at age 11 or 12 on average, and participated for one to several years. In late 2005 or early 2006 they completed a follow-up survey, when they were nearly 17 on average. About half the kids reported remaining abstinent, the same as a control group. Those who had sex did so first at the same age as those in a control group, and had as many sexual partners.

The abstinence education had no measureable effect of any kind on what the kids did. It's unclear whether the parents were soothed by it.

Katie is trying to minimize the study's import by calling its findings "drastic." Calling the finding that abstinence education is literally perfectly worthless in addressing teenage premarital sex when compared to a comprehensive sex education program is only "a drastic finding" if you think that spending tax money on this giant rat hole is a good idea. Katie does:

But anyone who wants to make public policy based on this study should think again. Its sample was small and unrepresentative, says Dr. Gary Rose of the Medical Institute of Austin, Texas, a research organization that supports abstinence education.

Why it only sampled four of the NINE HUNDRED federally-funded abstinence programs out there! We're paying for NINE HUNDRED of these clunkers at the federal level? According to Rose, Katie says, there is "good evidence" that abstinence education works. You apparently just can't see it. At least Katie doesn't share any of the proof with us. Sometimes faith just works that way!

But regardless of the statistics, says Katie, there is a larger truth: the well being of our kids. Which is why, apparently, Katie wants the same number of kids to have sex, only without knowledge about pregnancy or disease prevention. Now there's good public policy for you! Then, we can make sure they don't have access to emergency contraception or abortion services, or the girls to the HPV vaccine!

Parenthetically, Spot will say that Katie, in addition to being the Commissioner of Troubling Signs, is the Commissioner of Larger Truths. If the facts don't support Katie, she just claims that what she wants is due to her access to ineffable, transcendent Truth. Who are you going to believe? Katie the oracle or your lyin' eyes? What hogwash.

Katie also says this:

Our kids are telling us that they're having sex too early. Nearly two-thirds of teens who have had sex regret their early activity and say they wish they had waited, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Our kids are crying out for socially supported ways to say no.

Here's a page on the "National Campaign's" website that makes it explicit that religion undergirds its efforts. Katie wants us to make public policy based on Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Never mind scientific studies!

Katie, Spot has to say he has known and knows a lot of teenagers. Never has he known even one who was crying out for ways to avoid sex. Spot has counseled some, especially the boys, not to be pushy, to be careful, and that sex is not a good idea for unmarried teenagers. Would it be more effective to say that we'll stone the non-virgin brides on their fathers' doorsteps? Probably not. But that's what Katie wants:

Authentic abstinence curricula take a very different approach [from comprehensive sex education]. They view sex not primarily as a source of pleasure or self-expression but as a deeply significant act with moral, emotional and psychological dimensions. As a result, they focus on teaching students about the differences between love and sex, and encouraging them to view sexuality as part of a lifelong process of developing intimacy that will culminate ideally in a faithful marriage.

Whatever happened to the role of the family in moral development, Katie? Why on this issue do you want the schools to act in loco parentis and not on other issues? (That's Latin, boys and girls, not Spanish, so it doesn't mean crazy parents.)

Katie gave up her usual Muslim rant today because the Minnesota Legislature is considering a bill to require sex education in 7th to 12th grade classrooms. She's just cranking up the, well, cranks. REW at Power Liberal comments on a related aspect of this issue: the Rt. Reverend Steve Sviggum's lament about an initiative to increase support for the godless Planned Parenthood.

Dear Lord, free us from the tyranny of these mossbacks. Amen.

Tags: Katherine Kersten, Planned Parenthood, sex education

The whitest couple in America get down

Via Dependable Renegade:

Update: See the whitest couple in America in motion, sort of.



Technorati Tags: George and Laura Bush

Spotty, I have a question

Yes, grasshopper, what is it?

You, or this blog anyway, were just named by City Pages as the Liberal Blog of the Year, right?

Yes, that's right.

How did that happen?

Whatever do you mean, grasshopper?

Well, you know, there are bloggers out there—bloggers you know—who cover a lot of subjects better than you.

Nuh-uh.

Un-huh.

Name one.

I could name several, but I'll stick with just a few. Manic collection of newsworthy links and pithy comments about, especially, journalism? Mark at Norwegianity. Your co-author, MNObserver writes over there, too, you know. Mark is the dean of Left Blogistan.

Environmental matters, including the recent and very important 3M water contamination case? Sky Blue Waters.

Minnesota tax policy? How about the blog author you call "the go to guy?" Across the Great Divide?

Norm "the empty suit" Coleman? Three Way News.

Right-wing Christian nutcases and their enablers? Media Transparency.

And finally, Minnesota Monitor, a site that is not so much a blog anymore as an online news magazine. MinnMon has people who go out an actually interview other people. Have you ever interviewed anybody, other than your made up interview with "Pastor" Mac Hammond?

Well, no, grasshopper.

I rest my case.

Well, I am not giving the award back.

Don't have to. Just don't let it go to your head.

Update: The grasshopper had forgotten that he wanted to taunt Spot with Charlie's site, too.

Pop some corn

According to Think Progress, Monica Goodling will be granted immunity from prosecution and compelled to testify before the House Judiciary Committee on Purgegate. Spot imagined a little conversation about that earlier.


Technorati Tags: Monica Goodling, US Attorneys

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

Quiet down, Spotty! Let's see why all these people are at the door.

Bark! Bark!

Shush! Well, it looks like they're here to see you, Spot.

Moi? Whatever for?

The Cucking Stool was just named Liberal Blog of the Year by City Pages.

Really? That's awesome! And look at me! I haven't been to the groomer in months!

You've never been to a groomer. Your hair is too short.

Oh, right.

Just go out and talk to the people.

Okay.

Spot wants to thank City Pages for the recognition and the award. One of the good things about reading a blog by a dog is that there is very little self-absorbed angst to be endured. Or self-absorption of any kind for that matter. Today will be an exception, for which Spot apologizes.

First off, Spot has a co-author, MNObserver. Spot complains bitterly that MNObserver, who is more connected to politics, especially local politics than Spot, doesn't post more often, but he's grateful when she does.

The Cucking Stool, which was an old English and colonial American "engine of correction," was used as a dunking punishment for a communis rixatrix or common scold. There is a picture of a cucking stool here. People have written to Spot to say that a cucking stool was something else, designed to expose the posterior of the communis rixatrix, but the legal commentator Blackstone supports Spot's usage. Although a communis rixatrix could only be a woman – you Latin scholars can figure that out – Spot includes the communis rix, too.

It is mostly politicians and journalists who have been forced to sit on The Cucking Stool: George Bush, Tim Pawlenty, Tom Emmer, Geoff Michel (Spot's state senator), Norm Coleman, Dick Day, Alberto Gonzales, Don Shelby, D.J. Tice, Craig Westover, and the Power Line boys to name a few. But Spot has a special place in his heart for Katherine Kersten and Michele Bachmann, the state's two pre-eminent common scolds.

Sometimes, Spot plays the canine Zen master and has a dialogue with his "boys and girls" in the plural, or a "grasshopper" in the singular. And sometimes, just for fun, Spot channels dialogues or telephone calls or adapts classic literature to the present circumstance. On special occasions, Spot has the power to hear Katherine Kersten or Michele Bachmann praying.

The Cucking Stool is especially incensed at Katherine Kersten's anti-Muslim tirades.

We occasionally award a Spotty™ to the author of an op-ed piece, a letter to the editor, or a blog post or comment that Spot wishes he had written himself.

Spot urges new readers to poke around a little. Check out Spot's favorite posts on the right, or put the name of your favorite communis rix or rixatrix in the search box, and see if he or she comes up.

Spot hopes you'll come back from time to time.

We all get by with a little help from our friends. Spot thanks all the paragons of virtue or vice, blogger mentors (every one of them a local blogger that you probably already know), helpers and friends, and the tipsters who made and make The Cucking Stool possible. Them and the tolerance of Mrs. Spot.

City Pages, thanks again. Spot is not the hippest dog in town, and your recognition means a lot to him.

Tags: Best Liberal Blog

Joe Repya redux

About a year ago, boys and girls, Spot put up a couple of posts about Eagan resident Joe Repya. One of them, Repya's Rantings, has always gotten a few hits a day, even months after it went up. Repya is a recently-retired Army officer, cheerleader of the Iraq war, a delegate to the 2004 Republican Convention, and an apparent Republican insurgent who is after Ron Carey's job as party chair.

The subject of Spot's post was the political activism of Joe Repya, then an active military officer, and his criticism of local columnist Nick Coleman who had written a column itself critical of operation Iraqi Freedom.

A funny thing has happened, though. In the last month or so, the hits on Repya's Rantings have increased: 20, then 25, and sometimes 30 or more a day, and the trend is still upward. Some of this can be explained, Spot supposes, because Repya is running for party chair, but not all of it. Referring pages come from all over the country, including Florida and Washington State.

In fact, if you do a Google search of the term "Joe Repya," Spot's post is number two in rank; at least it was a few minutes ago. That's ahead of anything from Power Line, Captain Ed, or Let Freedom Ring. There is only one item listed above Spot: U.S. Coast Guard Lightship Sailors. Repya is an "honorary" lightship sailor. This afternoon, this comment was posted to Repya's Rantings referring to the lightship piece:

It's a bit unsettling to read the Lightship piece about Repya - whoever wrote it kept capitalizing the 'h' in him when referring to Repya, e.g., "The first time I met Him".

The way I was raised, there's only one Him you capitalize that way, and it isn't Repya.

Joe Repya is indeed one of the tin gods for the righties. His bid for party chair will be interesting to follow. One of his supporters is Andy at Residual Forces.

Tags: Joe Repya

Inconsistent statements

A little DOJ bird says to Rachel Paulose: You need a really fluffy interview to get some good ink. Rachel replies, sure, but who? How about a local gossip columnist? They aren't very careful. Great, says Paulose. I'll call C.J.

Minnesota U.S. Attorney Rachel Paulose and her predecessor, Tom Heffelfinger, shared a two-hour lunch at Atlas a couple of weeks ago.

Word is the air seemed very clear after they left.

Why did they do that?

Asked about lunch with Heff, Paulose was succinct: "We're friends."

Notice, boys and girls, it is not clear—as is usually the case in C.J.'s column—who the source of the information that "the air is very clear" is.

Isn't it nice that Rachel and Heff are friends?

Wait a minute Spotty. Heff, I mean Mr. Heffelfinger, didn't get invited to Ms. Paulose's coronation, or investiture, or whatever.

That's right, grasshopper, and here's what Paulose said about invitations, again from C.J.'s column:

[ … ] She's real smart, but I didn't get the idea that she thinks she is the second coming of former U.S. Attorney Miles Lord.

Lord was not invited to her investiture, and neither was Tom Berg. Paulose tells me she invited only predecessors with whom she had relationships. [italics are Spot's]

Apparently, C.J., Heffelfinger is Rachel's friend, even though she's never had a relationship with him. (Presumably, Rachel and C.J. are just referring to platonic relationships.) Friends without friendships. Quite a concept, Spot thinks!

Either that, or the two statements are flatly contradictory, and any journalist worth her salt would have followed up.

Spotty says never get your news from a gossip column.

A big thump of the tail to Avidor.

Update: Clarification to the sentence about source per comment from the Demure One.

Tags: Rachel Paulose, journalism

Our biggest problems remain human problems

Hasn't Spot been telling you that off and on for a couple of years, boys and girls? That in spite of all the new gee-whiz toys that we have, human relationships are at the core of our knottiest problems?

I don't remember you saying that, Spotty.

Well, he meant to! And it's why history, political science, sociology, anthropology and the like are as important to the survival of humankind as chemistry. There is an L.K. Hanson cartoon in the April 23 Star Tribune that captures the notion perfectly:

Technorati Tags: Arthur Koestler, L.K. Hanson

Sarah Baxter, communis rixatrix

Spot supposes that it was inevitable. The slaughter in Blacksburg, Va. was the result of promiscuous young women, not guns, according to a conservative writer that Jeff Fecke dissects here:

The scolds, of course, never really explain why it is that "young women behaving like men" is confusing and enraging -- or at least, why young women behaving like men is worse than young men behaving like men. They don't have to bother. We all know that good girls don't, and cool boys do--the message is driven into us, all of us, from the moment we become aware of what sex might be.

Metamorphosis

Little Alberto awoke in the predawn hours Friday, on his back, sweaty and flailing all three of his pairs of legs. He was jolted out of his sleep to see six tiny legs waving wildly in the air. He shook his head in disbelief and blinked a couple of times to clear his eyes.

ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE-SIX. Little Alberto had knocked back a couple of martinis and took two Ambien Thursday night, but they never had this effect before!

It had been a difficult time before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday. He had prepared for the session for weeks. But it did not go well. He tried to tell the senators that he had, after all, been involved in the firing of the eight U.S. Attorneys, but that he didn't know why he had fired them. And it sounded so smooth and believable when he practiced in the mirror on Wednesday night. But the Republicans on the committee seemed skeptical, and the Democrats were downright contemptuous.

There was nothing to do now but try to round up some support.

But Alberto felt really funny this morning. First the business with the legs, and then he looked down at his chest and stomach – or at least where they used to be – and saw maybe a twelve pack of abdominal segments, hard and shiny. Alberto emits a scream, but it comes out really, like, metallic sounding! Now is he really panicked. Alberto decides to take a shower and try to clear his head. But when he tries to get out of bed, he rolls onto his side but rolls right back again. He tries to get up for several minutes, and lies back, panting with the exertion. Alberto cranes his neck around, trying to look at his back, and he notices two tentacle-like things protruding from his forehead. To his amazement he is able to taste the sour smell of his sweat in the air with these things.

It is beginning to dawn on Alberto why he cannot get out of bed. He bridges on his neck and turns his head to look at his back. It has been transformed into a hard, brown, convex shell. No wonder he can't roll over! Alberto resolves never to drink martinis and take Ambien together again. In one last Herculean effort, Alberto bridges again on his neck and flips himself off the bed on to the floor with a crash. Winded, he lies still for a moment. Then, concentrating hard to get all of his legs to work in a coordinated fashion, he goes into the bathroom. The lid of the toilet is about eye level, and the sink looms over him.

Alberto takes his front set of legs and places them, one at a time, on the toilet lid. He hoists himself up and then reaches over to the sink, searching for a purchase to pull himself upright on his hindmost legs. He is afraid that he will fall over backwards, but he finds that his feet, if that's what you might call them, ooze a sticky substance that Alberto uses to hang on to the sink. When he is upright, he lifts his eyes and looks in the mirror and is horrified at what he sees.

Staring back at Alberto is an insect, a really big beetle. Its antennae are quivering, and its black head has a saw-like jaw jutting from the bottom of it. His twelve pack joins his brown shell back all around to form an exoskeleton, and his legs protrude from the seam between them. Bracing himself with his middle set of legs, Alberto uses the front set of legs to explore his head and then his front, and finally his back. He lets out a metallic sob.

Alberto senses that his only way out is to get some support for his embattled position. Dropping to the floor, Alberto returns to the bedroom. He looks at his clock – gratified that he can still read it – and notices that hours have passed; it is mid-morning. He decides to call Arlen Specter. Alberto no longer has any thumbs, but the sticky stuff on his feet permit him to pick up the receiver. Using one of his antennae, he dials the senator's number.

"Alberto, you sound really funny," says Specter when he gets on the line. "You been drinkin'? Not that I would blame you."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOO," replies Alberto, "BUTTTTTTTT I RRRRRRRRREALLY NNNNNNNNNNNNNNEED YOURRRRRRRRRRRR SSSSSSSSSSUPPORT."

"I said everything I am going to say in the hearing yesterday, Alberto, and take care of that cold, if that's what it is. Goodbye."

Undaunted, well somewhat daunted, Alberto calls John Cornyn, the senator from Texas; Cornyn gives him an even colder shoulder. Albeetle, and he now thinks of himself, decides to call the man for whom he has been a loyal retainer all life: George W. Bush.

Albeetle dials the White House number, but can only get through to Dana Perino. After struggling to make himself understood by her, she just says, "You continue to have the President's full support."

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSS, I KKKKKKKKKKKKNOW, BUTTTTTTTTTT CCCCCCCCCCCCAN I SSSSSSSSSSSSPEAK TTTTTTTTTTTTTO HIMMMMMMMMMMMMM?"

"No need for that; you have his full support," replies Perino. "Goodbye."

Albeetle places the receiver back in the cradle and is quiet for a moment. Then he bellows, "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHIT!" Then Albeetle lies down to contemplate the rest of his life as an insect.

With apologies to Gregor Samsa and Franz Kafka.

Tags: Alberto Gonzales, U.S. Attorneys

Vote for Andy!

The proprietor of the blog Stubborn Residue, via Blog House, said a couple of weeks ago concerning the proposal to increase income taxes at the top in Minnesota:

All those high tech programs we're paying through the teeth [isn't it through the nose we pay for things, Andy?] for at the U of M will be churning out grads looking for high paying jobs to fit their education (ahem, in this new tax bracket), and they come to a stark realization. Minnesota will no longer have anyone providing these level of jobs, as most companies that can will have relocated. And these grads will be too smart to live in a state that is going to suck almost 10 percent off the top of their wages for the companies stuck here.

Spot had visions that Andy had the Vista Cruiser all packed! Ready to move to more temperate tax climes like Mississippi or Alabama. Apparently not. This word now comes to Spot: AAA is running for vice chair of the sixth district GOP.

With shining eyes, Spot asks, "Where do we get men like these?"