Sunday, October 15, 2006

Venerate the Angel of Death

AHS: Progressives must mollify Christians because we want more of them to vote progressive. He (or maybe she; Spot isn't sure about how to determine sausage gender) quotes Saint Barack as saying:

And if we're going to do that [acknowledge the role of religion in American life for political advantage] then we first need to understand that Americans are a religious people. 90 percent of us believe in God, 70 percent affiliate themselves with an organized religion, 38 percent call themselves committed Christians, and substantially more people in America believe in angels than they do in evolution.

So we should have angel-centric school curricula? Ask PZ what he thinks of that one.

Spot had a vision last night, or maybe it was just a dream, that God commanded Spot to start a religious renewal movement. It is to venerate the Angel of Death. The Angel of Death is one of the truly great characters in the Bible. Here are just a couple of examples:

My angel will go before you and bring you to the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites, and Jebusites; and I will wipe them out. (Exodus 23:23 NAB)

That night the angel of the Lord went forth and struck down one hundred and eighty five thousand men in the Assyrian camp. Early the next morning, there they were, all the corpuses of the dead. (2 Kings 19:35 NAB)

Oh, and let's not forget this Holy Smackdown:

At midnight God did as He said [he would do] and struck the Egyptians. As was their custom when someone died, the Egyptians wailed loudly over their dead. Soon others awoke and discovered that a family member had died. Everyone was struck, from the house of Pharaoh, to the house of the lowest slave. There wasn't a single Egyptian household where there wasn't at least one dead. Soon a great crying and wailing filled the land.

It isn't clear this was a contract job for the Angel of Death, but it's hard to imagine that God would bother do it himself.

What God told Spotty he wants is for all of us to pray that the Angel of Death be sent out to kill Osama bin Laden. If we all pray rilly, rilly hard, it will happen. And next, we'll all pray, right along with Pastor Fred Phelps, that the Angel of Death kill all the gays! It seems like such a simple, elegant solution. No muss, no full, just a late night visit from the Holy Hammer.

AHS, if progressives give in to religious zealots on issues like gay rights, reproductive rights, and stem cell research, they won't be progressives anymore.

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