Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sadly, poor Michele is misunderstood again!

Before we get to that, however, I note that the Stib's Sunday tag team of Heartburn & Gas (tm) features Gas this morning. Suffering from a form of political Tourette Syndrome, Jason Lewis periodically leaves his usual state of catatonia to shout "Wealth Redistribution!" before slipping back out of it entirely. Sadly, he's seen specialists around the world, but no one has been able to help.

Personally, I think he just missed the day at nursery school where the kids learned about sharing toys and cookies, so he's been forced to go around with his arse painfully clenched ever since, depriving his brain of blood and oxygen. A good Freudian therapist -- such as Sigmund Spot -- might be able to take him back to his painful childhood and help. We'll see.

Lewis thinks that educating children and taking care of sick people is "redistribution of wealth." As if he earned it all by himself. Really, no more needs to be said about this poisonous blowhard, at least today.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, poor misunderstood Michele. It seems like just yesterday -- or was it Friday, or maybe even Thursday? -- that the Corn Queen proudly stepped forward to ink the deal pledging fealty to the FAMiLY LEADER in an effort to suck up to every bat-shit crazy tea bag conservative who has ever heard of Bob Vander Plaats. (Roughly, "Vander Plaats" means "from the place," although the place is not, and probably cannot, be identified or even found.)

Bachmann signed Vander Plaats' loyalty oath, which contained the usual list of bagger baloney, but this one was special. Really special. This stunner was part of it:
Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.
Yes, slavery was such a socially stabilizing institution.

Having been laughed at, scorned, and mocked for three days, Michele says that she was misunderstood entirely. Why, she didn't mean that when she signed the pledge that she agreed with all of it. Heaven forfend! The part about slave babies being better off was in the preamble, kind of like the Preamble to the Constitution.
A Bachmann spokeswoman said earlier Saturday that reports the congresswoman had signed a vow that contained the slavery language was wrong, noting it was not in the "vow" portion.

"She signed the 'candidate vow,' " campaign spokeswoman Alice Stewart said, and distanced Bachmann from the preamble language, saying, "In no uncertain terms, Congresswoman Bachmann believes that slavery was horrible and economic enslavement is also horrible."

It wasn't clear whether Bachmann had read the "slavery" language in the preamble, but Stewart later added Bachmann "stands behind the candidate vow - which makes absolutely no reference to slavery."
But even Plaatz plotzed:
A social conservative Iowa group has retracted language regarding slavery from the opening of a presidential candidates' pledge, amid a growing controversy over the document that Michele Bachmann had signed and Rick Santorum committed to.

The original "marriage vow" from the Family Leader, unveiled last week, included a line at the opening of its preamble, which suggested that black children born into slavery were better off in terms of family life than African-American kids born today.
The Politico article quotes Vander Plaats's organization:
“After careful deliberation and wise insight and input from valued colleagues we deeply respect, we agree that the statement referencing children born into slavery can be misconstrued, and such misconstruction can detract from the core message of the Marriage Vow: that ALL of us must work to strengthen and support families and marriages between one woman and one man," the group's officials said in a statement. "We sincerely apologize for any negative feelings this has caused, and have removed the language from the vow.”
Samples of the "wise insight" undoubted included:
Are you people completely crazy?

What are you trying to do? Our Wikipedia revisionists can't keep up with Michele Bachmann as it is!

Who did you test the message of this pledge on? The KKK?
Hang in there, Timmy; you may have a shot yet.

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