Friday, January 19, 2007

Let it be done!

And so it came to pass in the year 7 NDA, that the Grand Vizier, or perhaps it was another of the courtiers, whispered in the Sultan's ear: I fear, O Peerless One, that there may be rebellion in the provinces.

The Sultan adjusted his turban, that had slid down over eyes which now registered a flicker of fear, and replied: It is as I have always feared. Whatever shall we do? If we kill all the peasants, there will be no one to harvest the grain!

Oh, there is no need to kill all the peasants,
said the Grand Vizier. We only need to purge the unreliable elements.

Ok, how?

The Grand Vizier thought for a moment, and then said, First, we kill all, well some of anyway, the lawyers.

That's catchy, said the Sultan, but are you sure you thought of that?

Is my liege accusing me of plagiarism? asked the Grand Vizier.

No, of course not! exclaimed the Sultan. Where do we begin?

O Peerless One, I have already prepared a little list for your approval.

This cannot be, said the Sultan, these are all lawyers that I myself, in consultation with you and my other loyal retainers, have appointed.

Alas, I am afraid it is true, said the Grand Vizier, shaking head sadly.

Then bring me their heads on a plate, with a little mustard on the side!

O Peerless One, I don't recommend that. We must just dispose of them quietly and hope their disappearance does not create further unrest.

Let it be done as you have written. Now, I need a glass of milk and a nap, said the Sultan.

How many of you remember the Saturday Night Massacre, boys and girls?

Spotty, isn't that when a bunch of gangsters got killed in Chicago?

No, grasshopper. You are thinking of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. The Saturday Night Massacre didn't involve any actual blood, but it had more far-ranging consequences. It helped bring down a President.

Spot remembers it as if it were yesterday:
In the most traumatic government upheaval of the Watergate crisis,
President Nixon yesterday discharged Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox
and accepted the resignations of Attorney General Elliot L. Richardson
and Deputy Attorney General William D. Ruckelshaus.
The President also abolished the office of the special
prosecutor and turned over to the Justice Department the entire
responsibility for further investigation and prosecution of suspects
and defendants in Watergate and related cases.

Why did Nixon do that? Spot will anticipate your question, grasshopper. He did it because Special Prosecutor Cox was getting too close to the White House in his investigation of the Watergate break-in, and Nixon wanted to nip it in the bud. Of course, we all know it kind of backfired.

You're trying to get us to draw a conclusion about the similarity of Nixon and the Suntan aren't you Spotty? And isn't President Bush the Sultan in your story, and maybe Dick Cheney the Grand Vizier?

Very good grasshopper! There is a lot of speculation--and that is what it remains for the moment, anyway--that the recent sacking of US Attorneys around the country may be as a result of corruption investigations coming too close to comfort for Bush Co. New York Times columnist and all-around bright guy Paul Krugman thinks so. See a discussion of his column on the subject at Hullabaloo.

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