Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Sanctimonious dweebery

Mr. Governor Pawlenty, Sir, I have a Mark Kennedy calling for you.

Who? I don’t need to talk to no stinkin’ Massachusetts Democrat! Take a message!

No, no, sir. This is Mark Kennedy, the Minnesota Congressman, a Republican, who is running for the US Senate.

Well, okay, put him through. Crap.

Timmy, you’re killing me.

What? And it’s Governor Pawlenty to you.

Sorry, Governor Pawlenty. It’s just that a recent campaign email of yours is making me look like an ass.

You can do that all by yourself, Kennedy, don’t blame me. All that corny piano playing. Who do you think you are, Harry Truman?

Of course not, sir. Truman was a Democrat. Although I have been cursed with a Democratic name. You’ve probably noticed.

No, I hadn’t.

Well anyway, I got the first break of this whole miserable campaign last week. Somebody found an unaired television advertisement for me on my agency’s website and told somebody on Amy Klobuchar’s staff. The staffer got canned for looking at the ad, but Klobuchar didn’t do anything with the ad itself. Even so, my guy Michael Brodkorb and I have been making all the hay we can out of this, trying to portray it as unethical skullduggery. It’s the closest thing I’ve had to an issue for months.

Yeah, Kennedy, this is all old news. What’s it got to do with me?

Well, apparently, your campaign got some advance information about an advertisement critical of you. The campaign not only found out about it, you acted on it and rebutted it before it was aired.

So what’s your point?

It makes me look like a sanctimonious dweeb.

I said, what’s your point?

Oh, never mind. [click]

Sanctimonious dweeb. [click]

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