Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Sleep tight Johnny!

Here’s the concluding paragraph of Johnny Rocketseed’s recent hysterical scribble about war against Iran:
It seems to me that the case for military action against Iran, designed not just to set back its nuclear program but to change its form of government, is at least as strong as it was with regard to Iraq. But it appears equally clear that the American people have no appetite for the sort of conflict it would require to bring about regime change there. So, by default, we seem destined--at best--for a policy toward Iran substantially similar to the "box" strategy that was deemed insufficient when applied to Iraq. [italics are Spot’s]

Yeah, Johnny, the American people are such gutless wonders. Spot has to admit, your logic is ironclad. All one has to do is look at Iraq to see the undeniable advantage of bringing regime change to Iran, too! Of course, we could just nuke the place into an ash tray. They’ve only got, what,
68 million people? Of course, if we nuke ‘em, we might make their oil too radioactive to use, but that seems like an acceptable risk.

However, there a few things you may want to consider Johnny:

The invasion of Iraq has turned it into the major terrorist playground in the world.

The invasion of Iraq is driving the US to its knees financially.

Iran is a much tougher nut to crack that Iraq, which was supposed to be a “cakewalk,” but the last time Spot looked, it wasn’t.

Iran has promised retaliation if attacked. What a surprise. This is undoubtedly of some interest to our troops already in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The price of oil is already at record levels. Conflict with Iran would severely disrupt the oil market and would probably bring on a world wide depression. At a minimum, it would make that nice house of yours way out there in Apple Valley less valuable.

But lay this all aside, Johnny, and consider the following:
People are so afraid. Take the man, with no address, who wrote:

If you knew that a man posed a danger to you - maybe had a gun in his pocket, and you felt that he would not hesitate one moment to use on you – what would you do? We know Iraq poses a threat to us, to the rest of the world. Why do we sit here and pretend we are protected? That is exactly what happened with al-Qaeda and 9/11. With Iraq, though, the threat is on a much larger scale. Should we sit back, be little children that sit in fear and just wait?

I wrote back:

Please, for the sake of us all, get a shotgun, preferably a 12-gauge double-barrel, and right there in your own neighborhood blow off the heads of people, cops excepted, who may be armed.

Kurt Vonnegut, A Man without a Country, 2005, pp. 108-9.

Spot wonders if Johnny Rocketseed wrote that letter to Kurt Vonnegut. Sounds a little like him, doesn’t it? Spotty says it is time to take all the little frightened Johnny Rocketseeds, feed them supper, and then put them to bed with a warm blanket and a night light.

Tags: Johnny Rocketseed at writes to

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